My Way or the highway

Morning conversation

HR Manager to New Employee : Welcome to The Fictitious Company Ltd. We are glad to have you on board. We hope that we have a long-lasting and mutually beneficial relationship. Here is your Employment Letter. You will need to sign a copy and return as an acknowledgement of acceptance of the Job Offer.

New Employee : Thank you. I look forward to working here. I assure you I will put in my best. Please give me a few minutes to read the letter and sign and return a copy.

HR Manager : What a strange young man you are ! You want to read the letter before you sign and accept the terms. This is a standard letter which we issue to all new hires. Are you suggesting that I, the HR Manager of the company, have the time to make changes to individual letters ? Nobody else has had a problem signing it. You think you are special ?

New Employee : Not at all sir. But I would still like to understand all the terms and conditions so that I can ensure that I can abide by them.

HR Manager : Suit yourself. As you know I am a very important person with very important things to do. If you want to read the letter you can take it with you and come back and see me in the evening.

Evening Conversation

New Employee : Sir, there is a mention about a “scope of work” and the letter says it is attached. I don’t find it attached. Can I please have a copy of the “scope of work”.

HR Manager : We don’t give out copies of “scope of work”. Your “scope of work” will be briefed to you by your Manager.

New Employee : Very well sir. In that case, I request you to remove this line from the letter since, by signing it, it would mean that I have seen it and accepted it.

HR Manager : Now listen young fellow! You are being unreasonable. We cannot take it out of the letter as it is a Corporate Policy that has been laid down by the top management. I have no authority to take it out. If I take it out I will be violating Corporate Policy.

New Employee : I assume that putting this line in the letter and not actually giving it out does not violate Corporate Policy. In any case, if you cannot take the line out, please give me a copy of the “scope of work”.

HR Manager : But I don’t have a “scope of work” to give you.

New Employee : Then please remove this line from the letter.

This “endless loop” continued endlessly. Finally, exasperated, the HR Manager said : Leave this with me. Let me see what I can do. I will call you soon.

Next day

Of course we all know that the HR Manager never made that call. Instead, the company hired another young individual who was willing to accept the letter stating “scope of work enclosed” without it actually being.

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