Not my fault

Senior Manager A is with the CEO, for his annual appraisal.

CEO : So, how has the year been ?

Senior Manager A : Reasonable, I would say. Could have been much worse.

CEO : How long have you been in this role ?

Senior Manager A : Exactly a year.

CEO : That’s a good long stretch.

Senior Manager A : Yes and no.

CEO : Hmmm. Anyway let us begin. Firstly, your Net Profit has gone up and you are meeting the target numbers. Well done !

Senior Manager A : Thank you sir. You know how hard I have worked on this. It is a result of some key initiatives I was able to deploy during the course of the year that have yielded these results.

CEO : I see. But then your Revenue numbers have slipped. Both against last year and against the target for this year.

Senior Manager A : I know sir. The Sales Plan that was in place before I took over had a residual impact during the year which impacted on overall achievement.

CEO : I see. So you could implement hey initiatives to impact the Net Profit but you could not implement key initiatives to impact the Revenues.

Senior Manager A : No sir. It takes time to fix Revenue isues. Profitability reacts faster to tactical measures. I assure you that we will perform much better next year.

CEO : I am sure you will. Coming back to this year, the client survey done in the middle of the year of the year has shown a marked improvement over last year. That is a good sign.

Senior Manager A : Thank you sir. You know how hard I have worked on improving client perception. The survey results are on expected lines I would say.

CEO : I am glad you identify so closely with this measure.

Senior Manager A : I do sir.

CEO : On the other hand, the employee survey done around the same time as the client survey paints a fairly dismal picture of the internal work environment.

Senior Manager A : The policies practiced by the last Senior Manager, unfortunately, have had a trailing impact. We are working on it and I am sure the survey next year will have much better feedback from employees. You know how hard it is to change the work environment.

CEO, after a deep breath : I see. Thanks anyway for your inputs. I will let you know the final assessment in due course.

Senior Manager A, getting up : Sure sir. Thank you.

The CEO takes a bio break and calls Senior Manager B for his annual appraisal.

CEO : So, how has the year been ?

Senior Manager B : Reasonable, I would say. Could have been much worse.

CEO : How long have you been in this role ?

Senior Manager B : Exactly a year.

CEO : That’s a good long stretch.

Senior Manager B : Yes and no.

CEO : Hmmm. Anyway let us begin. Firstly, your Revenue has gone up and you are meeting the target numbers. Well done !

Senior Manager B : Thank you sir. You know how hard I have worked on this. It is a result of some key initiatives I was able to deploy during the course of the year that have yielded these results.

CEO : I see. But then your Net Profit numbers have slipped. Both against last year and against the target for this year.

Senior Manager B : I know sir. The Budget that was in place before I took over had a residual impact during the year which impacted on overall achievement.

CEO : I see. So you could implement hey initiatives to impact Revenue but you could not implement key initiatives to impact the Net Profit.

Senior Manager B : No sir. It takes time. I assure you that we will perform much better next year. Revenue reacts quickly to tactical measures. Profitability, on the other hand, is slow to react.

CEO : I am sure you will. Coming back to this year, the employee survey done in the middle of the year of the year has shown a marked improvement over last year. That is a good sign.

Senior Manager B : Thank you sir. You know how hard I have worked on improving employee conditions and perception. The survey results are on expected lines I would say.

CEO : I am glad you identify so closely with this measure.

Senior Manager B : I do sir.

CEO : On the other hand, the client survey done around the same time as the employee survey paints a fairly dismal picture of our standing in the marketplace.

Senior Manager B : The policies practiced by the last Senior Manager, unfortunately, have had a trailing impact. We are working on it and I am sure the survey next year will have much better feedback from clients. You know how hard it is to change perception in the marketplace.

CEO, after a deep breath : I see. Thanks anyway for your inputs. I will let you know the final assessment in due course.

Senior Manager B : Sure sir. Thank you.

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14 thoughts on “Not my fault

  1. Quick on the feet answers. If these guys were able to sling the poop so well I’d extend contract because they knew the ins and outs. The financial crisis in Europe, the monopolization of markets by China, rising fuel costs, and reduced talent in available work force due to poor education system, drugs, sex and rock and roll have also negatively affected performance and these influences are beyond our control. New global strategies must be developed by the entire administrative team perhaps with outside our firm’s base assistance. May I now be promoted, Mr. Mithal for my analytical expertise?

    • Stop! Stop! Stop! Financial crisis in Europe, the monopolization of markets by China, rising fuel costs, etc. etc. These would have been my next five posts. Now you’ve come and stolen that thunder. Like the pre-crime unit in one of the Tom Cruise movies.

  2. Standard questions and rehearsed answers that takes credit for the positives while blaming the predecessors for the negatives. Anyway, the SMs probably have another year…let’s hope a tsunami does not hit Japan as that will somehow affect sales – leave that to the SMs to figure out…

  3. The art of perception in interpreting reality is dismissed as philosophical gobbledygook. It is, probably, the most practical of metaphysical ideas known to man, as these managers so wonderfully exhibit. 🙂

    Hilarious read, as always, Sir!

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