Absolute power corrupts absolutely

{continued from the previous post titled Power corrupts…(https://darkofficehumour.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/power-corrupts/) on 6th August, 2012}

The following day, a press conference was called to announce what everyone already knew from the previous day.

The Prime Minister, pilloried by the press for sticking to his Job Description and being an ineffective Prime Minister, lashed out at critics of his policies and said that the criticism was levelled by ignorant fools. His cabinet of ministers have been working with each other to ensure well-rounded growth. The power failure, he offered as an example, was the result of close co-operation between the Power and Finance Ministers. The power-grid failure will give rise to a demand for diesel, generators and other useless equipment that will provide an economic stimulus to the somnolent economy.

Every household, every business, needs to buy and install power generation equipment. Thereafter, they must buy diesel to run these power generating units inefficiently, as there is no other technology available. Thus, a simple enhancement of non-supply of power leads to a powerful multiplier effect for all-round growth.

Other emerging economies around the world have already asked for details of this initiative so that they can emulate the example we have set. I am sure the developed nations will soon follow suit.

We are also considering legislation to outlaw all improvements in efficiency achieved in the last thirty years and go back to a more inefficient production method. This should give a further boost to consumption in a faltering economy.

From a mere two hours a day ten years back, the shortfall in grid provided power supply is now over seven hours a day in urban areas. And growing as we speak. Do you think this has been achieved by chance? No sir. This is the result of many years of hard work by this government.

Deviating slightly from the topic, he added that people are needlessly fretting over the medals that we haven’t won in the just-concluded Olympics. All games are rigged, he said. They are played under lights and often in an air-conditioned environment, fed by uninterrupted power. Our athletes are not used to such artificial conditions. Then, after a pause, and to wild applause, he announced that the nation has won the right to host the Olympics in the year 2134. He added that the host nation will decide the events to be played at these Games. One decision that has already been taken is that all events will be held in the dark. A list of events to be held will soon be announced.

The crowd cheered wildly. The Prime Minister thanked them for their support towards the rapid development of the nation and took leave.

The common man, in the states impacted by the grid failure, expressed surprise at the event. When asked by media-persons covering the event on how they handled the crisis, the common man said that he was not aware there was a crisis till the media-persons told him there was one and that he was impacted. He felt proud to be part of such a well-planned nation-wide event, even though he had not been aware of it.

The knowledgeable media-persons found it difficult to explain the difference between a normal day, when he had no power supplied by the grid, versus the crisis day, when he had no power supplied by the grid, to the common man. The media-persons put down his inability to grasp the magnitude of the crisis to his ignorance and lack of exposure to the modern world.

Elders were envious of the development the country has made and rued the “dark ages” that they had to live through. The maximum that they ever got was about two hours of power cuts in a day. They wished they were young in today’s times with so much more opportunity for development.

To silence the doubting Thomases, who claimed that the event was a freak occurrence and had nothing to do with planning, the event happened again the next day. Now we know it was no accident.

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17 thoughts on “Absolute power corrupts absolutely

  1. Even Petroleum Minister has been roped in by Ministers for finance and power. The smaller gensets are petrol driven. This ensures consumption of diesel and petrol in proper proportion thus eliminating production imbalance. PM seems to have got the Olympic year wrong. It could be 2132 and not 2134 !

    • Kerosene and paraffin producers will start complaining about the step-brotherly treatment. One hears that the coal mafia has also funded research for building coal-fired home gensets. Water utilities are also starting to sell small hydraulic turbines for use in homes and offices which will run on tap water for generating power. There is also a move to build small nuclear reactors for home use…
      Ha ha! Trust you to calculate. BTW, this was the condition for hosting the Olympics; that it will be held in 2134 and not 2132 or 2136. Like McDonald’s selling aloo burgers.

  2. My dad used to say that TVS used to operate coal fired buses in 1940s.. I would love to see a model of such a bus…

    Generator sets for producing power from garbage are also in the market. They are recommended one for each side of the street. The capacity of the generator depends upon the garbage generated which is direct proportion to the number of inhabitants. The companies in this product segment have the census figures arranged area wise, street wise ( left and right sides tallied separately ). each product segment will call for different configuration of population data which will increase the demand for demographers..

  3. You have a rare talent to highlight government shortcomings with such humour. (Sadly, I suspect you could be describing almost any government in the world.)

    Your blog is a joy to read. Thank you – and keep up the good work!

  4. There is a conspiracy in the sports-world. Every time we request them to include one game in which we Indians excel – ‘Bed MingleTon’ – devised by our veteran sports icon Don N. D.Tinwari( ex- Top seeded) and Bill ClingOn, every time we are refused. We are simply unlucky.

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