Police Academy

The serial blasts that rocked the Mahabodhi temple complex in Bihar’s Gaya district two days back, have united the world in expressing shock against this dastardly deed targeting one of the holiest shrines of Buddhism, arguably the most peacable amongst religions.

Developments in the case are hogging headlines, placing those involved in the ensuing investigations, like the police, squarely in the limelight, leading to a public debate on the practices they have been following.

The National Investigation Agency (NIA) questions man for Bodh Gaya blasts”, a leading national daily has reported today in bold headlines.

“This is a marked departure from past practices followed by the police and other investigative agencies in the state, who have blamed cattle, stray dogs, and other animate and inanimate objects, for instances of a criminal nature, with great success”, the same national daily then, apparently, forgetting to add in the write-up.

Police old-timers have expressed dismay at this development. “What was the need to change practices that have served the state so well since independence?” they have rightly queried. Their concern “where will we find enough men to question for the number of crimes taking place in the state?” remains unanswered.

In a separate development, senior police officials clarified that despite allegations by political parties, there was no intelligence failure on the part of the police. Talking to reporters at the police station, a senior police official has claimed that he was fully aware of the bombing plans.

In order to further buttress his astonishing claim, he called several of his team-members to the meeting and asked them if they were aware of the bombing plans as well. Sensing hesitation amongst team-members, he asked them to speak the truth fearlessly without fear of reprisals.

One by one, each of the team-members came up and said that they were aware of plans to bomb the temple.

After each one of them had got a chance to say their piece, which was almost identical, watched by a proud senior official, he (senior official) looked the reporters square in the eye, twirled his moustache and asked, “You heard it yourself. Each one of my team-members was aware of the bombing plan. Can you call this an intelligence failure? Please ask the politicians to mind their own business and not meddle in what they know nothing about”.

Politicians guilty of calling this an intelligence failure have apologised and nominated the police department for a special award in recognition of their education and knowledge about events past, present and future.

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32 thoughts on “Police Academy

  1. Nice reading about you

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Be in touch. Browse through the category sections, I feel you may find something of your interest.

  2. The senior police officer is right – the politicians must do what they do best – divert state funds to their private coffers, demand commissions for any contract they hand out, and indulge in drinks and women – not neccessarily in that order. After all, this is a free country and they are free to indulge in women and drinks or both togther at the same time — plus a dozen or two dozen other social misdeeds. Full freedom! What the heck, add in criminal misdeeds too – afterall, we can’t let our leaders be reduced to ordinary citizens level.

    By the way, not forgetting – the police need awards for honesty, integrity and buffoonery. The medal must match the size of the twirling moustache.

    Let me take a rest before I decide what awards to bestow upon the bastion of democracy – the beloved Press.

  3. What is even more disappointing, even more precise alarming, is that this fraud is going on in the democracies as well as dictatorship. They really know how to put the “spin” on things here in USA. I have become more and more cynical as the years have passed. I no longer believe or trust much of what my own government says. .

    • I agree. Irrespective of the format of rule, there seems to be a common thread of greed (of different kinds; money, fame, power, respect are some) that runs across. I must say, however, that though my writing is satirical, and I poke fun at different sections of humanity at different times, I maintain immense faith in human beings.

  4. I try to do the same but am not optimistic. As the megacorps and megabanks expand and tighten control it seems “good” people continue on a road of disempowerment and the right to vote is a mere illusion of democracy.

    • I share that concern. I think megacorps do not “pay” enough either for the right to do business and make money or for protecting the planet from the environmental demands they make.

  5. Next step for the police would be to blame the bomb for the explosion, and since the offending object has been already destroyed and thus punished, the police will be able to close the case.

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