While I wait for the creative juices to flow, here is a collection of funny signs I received on email from a friend (source unknown – before the friend I mean) that I enjoyed reading:
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER……. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK).
I hope you do too.
darkofficehumour 
If you have a job pay your taxes immediately. The people that won’t work need your money.
You are a very early riser Carl. Or a very very late sleeper. It would not yet be 5 AM in your time zone.
Thanks for the reminder. Anything for a worthy cause!
A good laugh…great way to start my day…thanks!
Any time Cynthia. In this case, though, I am basking in reflected glory.
Love it, Ankur, and am just about to re-blog it; hope you don’t mind.
Of course not Anna. I’ll bask in some reflected glory. I hope the originator does not mind being reblogged.
Od dear, haven’t thought about that, but at least he/ she remains anonymous. And some of my blogging friends LOVED the post, so thanks again.
Reblogged this on Flaming English by Anna Nolan and commented:
This is from my cyber friend, Ankur Mithal. It should raise a smile – or two.
Thank you Anna
You are MOST welcome!
LOL. Loved it.
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Hilarious! Love these!
Thank you!
Ha ha ha! Many thanks. Here’s one from the golf course: A golfer who says he never cheats is also a liar!
Cheers!
Tricky choice! But then, who said golf was easy??
Here’s another one from a golf course…
1.BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT
2..FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
3.FORM A LOOSE GRIP
4.KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
5.STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7.IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG,
LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8.DON’T STAND DIRECTLY
IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9.QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS
ARE PREPARING.
10.DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL,
GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
Ha ha Ankur good one thanks never heard this one before 🙂
Ok here’s one last one for the road by Ted Ray ~ “Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.”
And I agree with Ted 🙂
I am getting to know the same thing in twenty five 😦
These are hilarious. Proof everyone needs a little writing help.
Thank you Jacqui. And thank God for that 🙂
BTW, I need a ‘like’ button for Dilip’s comment!
Strangely, I get an option for a ‘like” button on my phone which allows me to click it but does not show anywhere on the blog. On a laptop, the fellow does not even show up and offer itself for a click. Guess I have a lot to learn about technology.
1. The Association Minister unveiled the church’s new fund raising campaign slogan last Sunday: “I upped my pledge – up yours”
2.Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
3 The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
4. Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5 PM- prayer and medication to follow.
5. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and become prepared to sin.
6. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
7. For those of you that have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
8. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I Will Not Pass this Way Again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
9. A bean supper will be held in the church hall on Tuesday. Music will follow.
10. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
11. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
12. Bring you old cast off items for the church who will deliver them to the shelter. Bring your husbands too.
13. At the evening service tonight the topic is “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to the choir practice.
14. Low self esteem support group will meet Thursday at 6:30 PM. Please use the back door.
Absolutely brilliant; thank you!
These are hilarious! I am going to include these in the next collection of signs, with due credit of course. Hope you don’t mind.
Oh yes please do help to spread the “Gospel”
Sign boards in foreign countries often become laughing stock because of the “illiterate” English. Nationals seem determined to write in English to attract tourist. But can we even start to defend grammatically incorrect signs in our own country? Signs like “Please drive carefully for our childrens sake.”
Thank you for visiting and commenting. Many times, even though the grammar is correct, a context could make a statement funny. And, I am certain the same is the case with other languages. We are able to identify these gaffes in English because we understand it. I think 🙂
There are signs others catch and it takes me a bit to see the bloopers. I like to think is see them all. 😉
🙂
Spot on, Beth! Many thanks for following my blog, by the way. I will pop by yours shortly. Merry Christmas!
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Really A WONDERFUL BARGAIN
No disagreement on that
I hope they were good for a chuckle at least 🙂