Road to Happiness

There was once a happy stretch of road. Road1

It used to witness lots of happy people in happy cars go back and forth.Road2

There was a place where the road crossed paths with a railway track. It was called a level crossing. For protection of road traffic (a train is much bigger!!) a barrier was put on the road to ensure no one crossed the railway track when a train was passing.Road3

Cars waited patiently when the barrier was lowered to block the road and let the train pass. When the train had passed and the barrier was raised, the cars went past on their way. Happy people in happy cars on a happy road.Road4

One day, there was an impatient man waiting at the railway crossing and getting more and more restive as time passed. He did not like waiting for the train to pass. He did not like waiting. He believed he had important things to do while others did not and it was the world’s responsibility to make him succeed. He had a manic need to prove that he was better than others, all the time. He was second in the queue on one side of the track.Road5

Determined to get ahead of others, as soon as the barrier was lifted, he swerved his car to the right, overtook the car in front, swerved left again back to his lane, before the first car from the other side could reach him.road6

He was thrilled at his cleverness. And at the stupidity of the others. And that he had once again bested the others, who were following rules. He thought he was the smartest of the lot and would always stay ahead of others, as was his right. He looked back in glee at the car he had overtaken and drove off.

His feat had not gone unnoticed. Occupants of the car ahead of him, who he had overtaken, mine, were upset. Not so much at being overtaken, but overtaken rashly and then being mocked by the errant driver.  The cars on the other side who could see this manoeuvre also noticed. They thought if that guy could get away with it on his side of the road, so could they on their side. They made a mental note of adopting the same strategy next time an opportunity arose.

As luck would have it, in the not too distant future, their cars were arrayed at the railway crossing exactly as they had been earlier. This time, however, he was not the only ‘smart” one. Everyone on both sides of the track had been smarting and turned out to be as “smart”.

Before the barrier opened cars were positioned in their lanes.road7

As soon as the barrier opened, the car ahead of the “smart” car, mine, moved up swiftly in order not to allow him space to move back into the line ahead of him. The second car on the opposite side swerved right in heroic fashion, to make a dash for cutting back into the lane ahead of the car that was in front. But the car in front moved up swiftly to block the space in front.road8

At the same time the cars behind on both sides came on fast, and filled up all intervening spaces, whether in the right lane or the wrong one so that no smart driver could manoeuvre in. The result was that while they moved into the wrong lanes, they could not now come back into their own lanes.road9

Nobody on either side was able to move. They remained there for hours, honking and arguing. Some got out of their cars and started fighting with others. There were babies and sick people in some cars who were crying and getting uncomfortable. There was even an ambulance stuck in the traffic. But nobody could move.

The administration was forced to place traffic police at the intersection, incurring an unnecessary expense for the state exchequer, eventually paid for by everyone through taxes. The “smart” drivers were thrilled. They knew this was a smart move by the administration to help “smart” drivers” like himself, while the cost is borne by everyone. The traffic police, whose job was to ensure movement of traffic, ensured that the “smart” drivers got clearance before others so that oncoming traffic could be released. Punishing the errant for causing the problem, it seems, was not their goal.

Good news travels fast. Each driver involved in this episode took upon himself the task of teaching the same “smartness” to drivers at other level crossings they happened to pass, through personal example. Today, all level crossings are “smart” crossings, where traffic has to wait for hours to be on their way. Sometimes traffic police shows up to ensure “smart” drivers get right of way in the melee.

Roads everywhere are full of idiots behind wheels. Like me. Could I not have let the “smart” driver overtake me rashly and be on his way? Could the idiots in cars on the opposite side not have avoided this unhealthy competition and allowed the “smart” driver to be on his way. Disturbing questions.

One idiot is often all it takes.


38 thoughts on “Road to Happiness

  1. Grasping the business opportunity so presented, I had come prepared with a tray full of coffee, tea, Pepsi and McDonalds hamburgers which I hung around my neck, went up and down the line and made a tidy profit. But some drivers scolded me. I had forgotten Kentucky and his dead fried chicken. I have to work even smarter.

    And then the vegetarians threw their chutney at me – only, it was brown and did not smell like chutney. Phew!

    Not worry I shall persevere, become richer than Ambani and marry off my grandmother-in-law in a wedding that costs ONLY US$250 million.

    • Thank you Radhika for reading and commenting. Indeed! While greater pressure on living spaces is a natural outcome of population increase and movement from villages to cities, I think the problems are caused more by a lack of basic courtesy and respect for others.

      • Good point you make. My own experience is that the “uneducated”, as people with degrees like to call the ones without them, are generally more compliant. They can make mistakes but their intent of blatantly disregarding rules is quite low. Cannot say the same for degree holders.

    • Oh yes, it does happen from time to time. But are idiots are smart. They don’t let the fate of other idiots cramp their style.
      Let me repeat the quote from a railroad crossing somewhere in the US mid-west, “If it’s a tie, you lose”.

  2. In regard to ‘“If it’s a tie, you lose” I believe I will take this opportunity to put in print the fact that the last test was drawn and we lost.
    Good onya Ankur. Bonza post.

  3. I think that a smart policeman would have given out fines to every car standing in the wrong lane. And a “smart” policeman would happily collect the fines in cash with special convenient paperwork-less processing, and could become very rich in just a week or so.

  4. A situation one sees at almost every level crossing in India – depicted so humorously with graphics to boot! And this why in India we have to have barriers covering the entire width of the road, plus some, as some smarties try to find a side ingress too.

  5. LOL Happens here as well at such a crossing near where I live, Ankur. With a slight difference, though—the 2-on-2 (facing each other) situation takes place even before the train passes. Seems like we’ve got many smart guys around, huh? 🙂

    • Too many for the good of humanity I think 😦 In a strange way it is comforting to know that this happens everywhere. It affirms faith in scientists having classified humans under one common category 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s