Silly Girl

I am beginning to understand why many parents in India don’t want girls. At least Hindu parents. Who don’t want Hindu girls. This is not a blanket pronouncement on them being misogynistic and being against girls in general as there is no data on them not wanting Muslim girls or Christian girls or Shinto girls. What is known is that they don’t want Hindu girls. Of their own.

The reason for it is also becoming clear. They don’t have a brain of their own. The Hindu girls. Now, who would want a child without a brain? Even if they had one at birth, by the time they turn eighteen, the legal age of maturity in India, it seems it inevitably dissipates to a mushy nothingness inside their head.

This, as any person with a brain would be able to understand, leaves them exposed to manipulation and all its evil consequences. Otherwise, why would they be forever getting into trouble by running away with boys. To add insult to injury, boys of other religions. And not of their own accord, or free will, or after a reasoned evaluation of alternatives and choosing the running away option as the best choice for themselves and their loved ones, but on account of being lured to run away. They don’t have a choice in the matter. They are sitting ducks. The Hindu girls.

Despite having achieved the legal age of maturity and being permitted to vote.

Despite the love and care they are brought up with, which could include frequent reminders of them being a burden which the parents look forward to getting rid of one day.

Despite the best cultural traditions they are exposed to, that require them to ensure that they do not embarrass their family members with frequent reminders of how the burden of the family’s reputation rests on their shoulders.

Despite the stinging rebukes behind closed doors each time their world view collides with that of the parents.

Despite the parents having had eighteen years in which to earn their trust and confidence and influence their world view.

This clearly proves the absence of a brain in these girls. Can they not see the evil plan hatched by other religions to lure Hindu girls? Which parent in their right mind, or brain, can remain unaffected?

And while a brainless Hindu girl running away with a Hindu boy may still be countenanced, a brainless Hindu girl running away with a boy of any other religion is not an issue of parenting and relationship between parents and their offspring, it is an affront to the whole society and must be reined in.

And when it is an affront to the whole society the responsive political leadership must respond. As the elected governments of Uttar Pradesh (UP) and Haryana have done, promising to bring in legislation to address this affront to the whole society. Since the present laws addressing kidnapping, physical and mental abuse and torture, violence, confinement by physical force, use of weapons, etc. are obviously inadequate.

Why is it an affront to the whole society?

When an affronted Hindu parent, who forms the core constituency of the present elected government in the two states, says it is an affront to the whole society, it is one.

But it need not always be. Hindu parents are reasonable and flexible. Just as it is not an affront to the whole society when brainless Hindu girls take up well-paying jobs in businesses with a majority non-Hindu holding, or when they seek migration for better opportunities to nations and societies not primarily Hindu in composition, it need not be an affront to the whole society if the boy and his family are from what is referred to as a ‘better family,’ which usually means richer.

Apart from taking away the right to decide on marriage and cohabitation, the new legislation is expected to take away their voting rights as well. Why would a society give voting privileges to a brainless person, since they are susceptible to corrupting external influences despite the best efforts of their parents? These rights will be given back only when they have become the mother of an eighteen year old Hindu girl themselves, as the brain starts to grow back when one gives birth to a Hindu girl and is fully developed by the time she turns eighteen.

The legislation is expected to address many other issues festering for centuries. Of Brahmin Hindu girls running away with Vaishya Hindu boys, of Punjabi Hindu girls running away with Tamil Hindu boys and of Shaivite Hindu girls running away with Vaishnavite Hindu boys. All for the good of the brainless Hindu girl. After all, these are not issues of parenting and relationship between parents and their offspring, to be discussed, debated and introspected upon for resolution, these are issues that need the state machinery to mediate between parents and offspring.

The Ministry of ‘Permissible Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviour between Parents and Offspring’ is about to be born. As always, we asked for it.

30 thoughts on “Silly Girl

  1. The constant and uninterrupted pronouncements of people in power makes blood boil. They might as well make inter-faith marriages punishable by death.

  2. Another masterpiece of satire including a healthy portion of sarcasm, Ankur! You expressed in one of your comments your surprise to learn from my blog that boys enjoyed a much higher status in the German society of some eighty years ago. Let me add to this form of societal discrimination the affront of a brainless German girl running away from home all the way to Canada to marry without parental permission a penniless young man. She became only acceptable when she and her penniless husband became owners of a lovely home in less than ten years and produced five sons and not a single brainless daughter. Haha! What a world of contradiction we live in, Ankur!

    • You are right Peter. That part, about boys enjoying a higher status, caught my attention as this story has been going around in my head these last few weeks on account of repeated noises from certain sections of society about what is termed as ‘love jihad,’ apparently a sinister ploy to lure brainless Hindu girls into marrying Muslim boys. And thank you for holding up your and Biene’s heartwarming story as an example of what youngsters of any faith should aspire to.

  3. Great satire, Ankur. I think your government ought to legislate equal rights under the law for all citizens. Now there is a concept. Anyone caught saying nasty things about another religion, caste, state, occupation, or gender choice will be punished. Wait, don’t you have that now?

  4. In Melbourne there are now many second generation Indians, Lebanese et al and sometimes ‘all hell breaks loose’.
    But back to your post: once every now and then I would like to see a brief copy of the Indian news that prompted your post. Maybe just a link to an extract from the relevant proceedings of the state government. This is not a criticism. The opposite; then we might enjoy the prickly barbs of your diatribe with even more relish.

  5. I kept waiting for the punchline, Ankur. I think my new American government–the one currently trying to steal the election–may take notes from your venerable folks.

    Sorry I’m so late to the party. For some reason (maybe because I say stuff the leaders disagree with), WordPress will no longer send emails of published posts. I have to go to the Reader which I regularly forget to do. Sigh.

    • Ha ha! Never a shortage of entertainment in these US elections. There are elections underway in the state of Bihar in India. One of the images of Bihar is that of an aggressive, lawless land. A few years back it would have been unthinkable that the state elections in Bihar would be completed peacefully while the threat of physical violence looms over the US presidential elections.

  6. Now it’s my turn to borrow that adjective from you, a label as dragged around and bruised, displayed, battle-torn and in tatters as there ever was in this disintegrating universe: Orwellian. But it turns out, George Orwell didn’t invent it in his revolutionary writings, it has always been there: “it was always burning / since the world’s turning.” The question then is, what progress have we made since we descended the trees and walked out of the caves? If you ask that of the followers of a certain prophet, they have moved precious little from the days of the original quest simply because they have been racing in a circle. Maybe the followers of smaller gods have the same problem, but that doesn’t appear to be acute, although I may be biased in my outlook.

    The tragedy is, the state today exists merely as a machinery to grab power and rule the fools. Your power lies in the vote bank if you happen to be a unit of one, or the consumer bank you represent. And if you happen to be merely a tax payer, and an honest one at that, I have a different theory: You are an Elloi. All you can do is to wait for the Morlocks to come and feed on you, which of course is the real purpose of your existence. Perhaps, the same applies to the subject of your dissertation.

    • I agree. Joel was right. More and more, and this could be a function of aging, every action having an equal and opposite reaction seems to be the operating model for the world. Some reactions are visible immediately, others could take millenia to be recognised. Still, people insist on killing others for dubious benefits and beliefs. And, in an age where equality of all is professed from rooftops, holding on to one individual’s ideas as beyond reproach in itself sounds blasphemous to me.

    • Thanks! Great to hear from you. True, it seems to be similar the world over. The only difference being that in societies considered less developed, the difference is more visible and physical.

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