How I wish I could complain

I hope that some day I am in a position to complain. And complain big.

In fact, I have charted out my life in order of complaints that I would like to be able to make, with milestones defined at five-yearly intervals so that I can track progress and take corrective action, if the situation so demands.

By the age of 30, I should have been able to complain that

• I have so many customers wanting my time and attention that I have no personal time left

By the age of 35, I should have been able to complain that

• My employer insists on loading me with additional responsibilities, wants me to participate in all meetings and handle all important assignments

By the age of 40, I should have been able to complain that

• I have to pay a huge amount of Income tax

By the age of 45, that

• The fourth house I bought last year, on the beach, is going to seed because the caretaker is a slacker
• The hike in the price of aviation turbine fuel is making it increasingly expensive to fly my private plane

By the age of 50, that

• I don’t have enough parking space for my eight cars, ever since I added the two sports cars last year to the fleet
• The oil struck on my property is spilling over and destroying the vegetation on that piece of land and reducing my agricultural income

By the age of 55, that

• No commercial airline flies to the string of remote islands I own in the middle of the Indian Ocean forcing me to fly in my private jet
• I haven’t been able to get a parking space for my Yacht

By the age of 60, that

• My children are comfortably settled in their worlds of choice and don’t depend on me for anything
• I have to spend a fortune to guard all the original masterpieces I own, the Van Gogh, the Monet, and many others.

By the age of 65, that

• My stable of thoroughbred race-horses has not delivered a big win in over six months

By the age of 70, that

• I am forever forgetting the names of the artists whose artwork I own, since there are so many of them, and getting mixed-up in the names, like Manet and Monet, resulting in buying the wrong artist occasionally

If I have been able to complain as per the timeline I have defined for myself, there may not be scope for making any further complaints, unless it is to complain that I no longer have any complaints.

Complaining is surely under-rated.