Police Academy

The serial blasts that rocked the Mahabodhi temple complex in Bihar’s Gaya district two days back, have united the world in expressing shock against this dastardly deed targeting one of the holiest shrines of Buddhism, arguably the most peacable amongst religions.

Developments in the case are hogging headlines, placing those involved in the ensuing investigations, like the police, squarely in the limelight, leading to a public debate on the practices they have been following.

The National Investigation Agency (NIA) questions man for Bodh Gaya blasts”, a leading national daily has reported today in bold headlines.

“This is a marked departure from past practices followed by the police and other investigative agencies in the state, who have blamed cattle, stray dogs, and other animate and inanimate objects, for instances of a criminal nature, with great success”, the same national daily then, apparently, forgetting to add in the write-up.

Police old-timers have expressed dismay at this development. “What was the need to change practices that have served the state so well since independence?” they have rightly queried. Their concern “where will we find enough men to question for the number of crimes taking place in the state?” remains unanswered.

In a separate development, senior police officials clarified that despite allegations by political parties, there was no intelligence failure on the part of the police. Talking to reporters at the police station, a senior police official has claimed that he was fully aware of the bombing plans.

In order to further buttress his astonishing claim, he called several of his team-members to the meeting and asked them if they were aware of the bombing plans as well. Sensing hesitation amongst team-members, he asked them to speak the truth fearlessly without fear of reprisals.

One by one, each of the team-members came up and said that they were aware of plans to bomb the temple.

After each one of them had got a chance to say their piece, which was almost identical, watched by a proud senior official, he (senior official) looked the reporters square in the eye, twirled his moustache and asked, “You heard it yourself. Each one of my team-members was aware of the bombing plan. Can you call this an intelligence failure? Please ask the politicians to mind their own business and not meddle in what they know nothing about”.

Politicians guilty of calling this an intelligence failure have apologised and nominated the police department for a special award in recognition of their education and knowledge about events past, present and future.